


When More Is Too Much

by imaynotknowmyflowers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mostly Canon Compliant, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Sad Peter, Sharing a Bed, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 15:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20010547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaynotknowmyflowers/pseuds/imaynotknowmyflowers
Summary: Peter had always been relatively open about his feelings. He followed in the example of his uncle. Seeing how open he always was with his Aunt May and always showed Peter that it was okay to not always be the strong one in a relationship.-“Talk to me, Pete. This isn’t like you.”-Tony Stark was something else to her. A phenomenon that she couldn’t quite grasp. She was sure that if she took some to psychoanalyze him, she could come up with a plethora of reasons for his problems and attitude. What she didn’t understand was the extent of his and Peter’s relationship.-Or Michelle is there for Peter when he needs her the most. Whether he wants it or not.





	When More Is Too Much

**Author's Note:**

> Let us all just pretend that Peter Parker’s identity was not revealed to the world because while I’m sure I could figure something out. Bro I don’t even want to try to figure out what shit Marvel is going to pull on us so I don’t want to think about it until there is a solution. So, for the next two years, I’m going to pretend like all that jazz did not happen

There were plenty of reasons why Michelle was wary of relationships. From what she had seen in her own personal life and in the world around her, those types of things never lasted. 

Despite this, she was  _ not _ about to resemble some frustratingly underdeveloped character in a poorly written young adult novel that isolates themselves from people because they are “scared” of getting hurt.

No, Michelle wasn’t going to dive headfirst into her and Peter’s relationship before she knew how deep the water was but she was going to try.

Having known Peter Parker’s secret identity since before The Blip, she had noticed many things about him that even he was unaware of. 

She had always been absolutely fascinated by his abilities. She wanted to know more but also wanted him to trust her before she bombarded him with questions. She had kept notice of every time that Peter had a slight limp or would rub something that pained him because somehow- magically, the next day, it would be gone. 

Of course in the slim chance of her observations being incorrect, she did have a few alternative answers. A fight club (though she couldn’t see Peter hurting anyone for enjoyment), lab rat for Tony Stark, or the one that made her heart hurt at even the thought, abused at home. 

However, there was much more evidence supporting him playing Tarzan in a spandex suit than there was for any other reason. After meeting May at one of their trio’s movie nights and seeing how lovingly Peter and his aunt interacted, she had scrapped the last theory altogether. 

Tony Stark was something else to her. A phenomenon that she couldn’t quite grasp. She was sure that if she took some time to psychoanalyze him, she could come up with a plethora of reasons for his problems and attitude. What she didn’t understand, however, was the extent of his and Peter’s relationship.

When they had finally returned to school after the literal dust had settled from The Blip, she was immediately relieved and equally guilty of her relief that many of her classmates, including Peter and Ned, had Blipped as well. 

The confusion that she had felt when she opened her eyes to find herself in a living room that was her own, yet utterly unfamiliar to her filled with furniture and people as equally foreign was blinding. The following event of her dialing her father’s phone number only to be met with a robotic voice that informed her the number was disconnected sent her into, not her first, but the most intense panic attack of her life. The new residents of the house, The Curios, had been kind enough to help her find her family.

The normalcy of returning to school helped her adjust to the reality that was five years further along than she last remembered. Seeing Peter in the hallways had soothed her in a way that was shocking to her.

Everyone knew about the death of Tony Stark. It wasn’t talked about in classrooms yet but everyone knew that he was a hero and generations to come would be learning about what the Avengers had done to save the planet.

Being unnaturally observant, Michelle had noticed the small changes in many people around her. The people who had lost family in the past five years, those who were confused by their siblings that were suddenly older than them.

Peter had concerned her.

Peter had been through a lot in his years. Both of his parents were gone and more recently, his uncle had been killed in front of him. That was a lot for any high schooler to handle. Add being a crime-fighting, world-saving, genius and now you have too much data to fit into a human being. He had always managed to stay positive through everything. Hanging out with Ned and doing normal, dorky teenager things. No emo phases or perturbing social media posts.

Peter was on a moving sidewalk headed toward the edge and Tony Starks death had caused him to slow his jog to a crawl in the opposite direction. 

With the previous middle-schoolers suddenly in their grade, Michelle had an excuse to cling to Ned and Peter. The longer they were around each other, Michelle began to see Peter come back into himself. By the time of their trip to Europe, he was blabbering and jumping around like he always had. 

There weren’t many first-hand experiences when it came to Michelle and crushes. Sure, she had liked boys before, but she never even thought about acting on those feelings and she had never had anyone even tell her that they had a crush on her. Despite this, she did get the impression occasionally that Peter had a crush on her. Every time she had that thought it made her feel narcissistic and she hated that so she tried to forget about it.

When Michelle had found Peter after the insane events with Mysterio and the drones, she had never thought she would be so relieved to see Spider-Man limping towards her. Nor did she ever think kissing someone with blood and sweat all over their face would feel so amazing. Even with his bloodshot and teary eyes, he looked so handsome to her.

She hated to see him so torn up but felt a special sense of caring at the fact that she had seen him at that vulnerable point. 

Things didn’t change too much when they got back to New York. She still joined movie nights just instead of sitting in the armchair adjacent to the couch, she and Peter took turns leaning on and against each other. Ned never seemed to be disturbed by them but rather happy for their happiness.

Since the trip, Peter had been quieter, less opinionated, almost shy. Peter Parker was awkward, yes. But shy? Never. He was distant, it wasn’t like him

“What should we watch tonight?” Ned sat in his spot across from her and Peter.

“If we have to watch another Star Wars movie I’m not coming.” Michelle said and she took an apple slice from Ned’s lunch.

“MJ, there are so many more important scenes that you just aren’t…”

Michelle wasn’t listening anymore, she glanced at Peter who was seated at her left. He was just staring into his sandwich, obviously somewhere else. She didn’t really have any problem with Star Wars. It was just entertaining to her to see Peter and Ned defend it so vehemently. It was odd for him to be so silent.

She grabbed the hand that was resting on his leg and brought it over to her own lap. She rubbed what she hoped was soothing circles into the back of his hand.

He looked up at her with a tilted head and smiled. 

“Are just gonna leave him to defend the Jedi by all himself?” He squeezed her hand before speaking.

“It’s not about defending the Jedi” Peter smirked at her before looking over at Ned.

“Exactly! Thank you, Peter. What I was trying to tell MJ is that it’s more about-”

“We aren’t watching Star Wars.” She cut him off.

“How can you just walk away from the series with the story unfinished?” Ned was whining at this point.

“The same way you walk away from a football game without knowing the final score.” 

Ned stared at her for a moment before letting out a pathetic sigh. Michelle smirked victoriously as Ned turned to ask Peter.

“Peter, what do you think we should watch?” 

* * *

When school was out Peter met her outside her final class. She was usually one of the last people to leave the classroom so she wasn't surprised when Peter was already there leaning up against the wall.

“Hey Dork, what nerd movie did your husband decide on?” 

Peter didn’t react to her words, just continued to stare at the wall in front of him.

“Peter?” She called his name and pulled him out of his trance. He smiled shyly at her before grabbing her hand.

“Do you have X-Ray vision?” She deadpanned “Or were testing out the new laser eyes?”

Peter sighed ran a hand through his hair that appeared as if he had been doing this motion a lot lately. 

“I’m sorry, MJ. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. I’ve just been zoning out all day.” 

The look in his eyes told her that it was more than just a late night. The school hallway was not the place to get him to open up to her.

“Well it’s a good thing that it’s Friday, you can pick the movie if you let me play with your hair.” She was inexplicably filled with the urge to make sure that Peter was happy and relaxed.

“That’s really a double win for me. You don’t even like to touch my hair.” He walked her to the entrance of the school before they stopped.

“Yes, I do. Just not when it’s all sweaty from patrol. And stop being a dork about it or I’ll never touch you again.” 

Peter slightly raised his eyebrows at her.

“Well, I can’t have that.” He leaned in closer to her “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

He kissed her slowly. She pushed away from him before too long and glanced around to see if anyone was watching. 

“I’ll see you tonight, Parker.” She started to walk away before turning around. “But if you eat all the chips again I’m leaving.”

She could hear his laugh as she walked towards the bus and it brought a smile to her face that she had to wipe off before anyone saw her and thought she wanted to talk to them. 

* * *

When Michelle knocked on the door of the Parker residence late in the evening it way May Parker that answered the door.

“Michelle! Hey Sweetheart, come on in. I’m about to head out but Ned and Peter are in his room.”

“I’m not even here for them really.” She walked to the fridge and grabbed the Dr.Pepper she had stashed there earlier in the week. “This is all I came here for.”

“Okay” May laughed. “Well, if you decide to actually join them, will you remind Peter that I am staying at a friend’s house?”

“I don’t know if Peter wants to hear about Happy anymore” She raised her eyebrows at the older woman.

“I can not catch a break with you kids.” May opened the door and stepped out. “The pizza should be here pretty soon.”

Michelle smiled at her, watching her close the door before she opened her can and walked into Peter's room.

She was not surprised by the picture in front of her. Peter and Ned were redoing their Lego Death Star for what she could only assume was the tenth time. The boys both looked up at her as if they had been caught in an unspeakable act.

Peter’s hair was wet and she could see the bags under his eyes, indicating that he had gone on his patrol early that night.

“Did you pick the movie? Or did you two decide it would be more entertaining to stare into each other's eyes all night?”

“Peter chose  _ Indiana Jones. _ ” Ned looked over at Peter as if he had been betrayed. “Probably only because you have the same last name” he mumbled under his breath.

“Here Ned, this will make you feel better.” Michelle smirked at Peter “Your aunt wanted me to remind you that she is staying at her ‘special friend’s’ house tonight.”

Peter groaned and flopped backwards onto his bed. “MJ, Imagine your aunt dating Happy.” 

Michelle responded quickly. “It could be worse, Pete. Imagine being named ‘Happy’.” 

Ned started laughing and Michelle joined in when she saw Peter cover his face with his hands as if he was in actual pain. There was a knock at the door and Peter immediately shot up, looking to be on full alert.

Ned turned to him and said in a soothing voice. “It’s probably just the pizza, Dude. I’ll go get it.” Ned walked away and Peter released the breath that he was holding in.

“Are you alright, Peter?” She watched as he sighed and rubbed his face with his hands before sitting down.

“My senses have been all over the place lately.” He said quietly and she went to sit down next to him. “I’m sorry for being weird.”

She found no reason for his apology so she chose not to validate it. “You’re always weird.” She chose to say after pecking him on the mouth.

Peter gave a soundless chuckle at her statement.

“Did you already go on your patrol?” 

He nodded at her, affirming her previous belief before adding to it “And I showered, you're welcome. But it is Friday and there are going to be a lot of people out, so I should probably go out again when it gets later.”

“It’s Friday, there are more people and therefore are more police out on their own patrols. You don’t need to go out again.”

He looks up at her dubiously.

“You are absolutely exhausted, Pete. I can tell.”

“MJ, you can’t read my mind. I’m fully capable to go out again tonight.”

“Peter, you told me verbatim that you didn’t get a lot of sleep and were zoning out. You’re just going to lose focus and swing into a building or something.”

“Fine.” He looked annoyed at her, not a typical look she got from him. “Let’s just go watch the movie.”

He walked out into the living room and plopped himself in his usual spot on the couch before crossing his arms and glaring at the blank television as Ned set up his computer to the HDMI cable on the TV.

Michelle grabbed the pizza off of the counter and sets the two boxes on the living room table. They always made sure to order two pizzas because, with Peter’s superhuman appetite, he could devour almost an entire pizza all by himself.

She handed a napkin to Peter before settling next to him. Despite Peter’s attitude, she knew that his love language was physical touch and he wouldn’t be opposed to being as near to her as possible.

Once the movie was playing, Ned grabbed a few slices for himself before settling into his seat. She paid more attention to Peter than she did to the actual movie and it seemed as though Peter wasn’t watching either as he focused on shoving slices of pepperoni pizza into his mouth.

About halfway into the movie, once their stomachs were all full, Peter relaxed into Michelle’s side. She reached her hand up to play with the hairs on the back of his neck and scratch his head with her nails. She could almost feel the tension peeling away from Peter’s body and she scooted down the couch so that he could lay his head in her lap.

It couldn’t have even been twenty minutes of Michelle stroking his hair and scratching his head before Peter was dead asleep. 

When the movie finally ended, it was almost midnight. Ned stood up, “I’m gonna head to Peter’s room and get some sleep. I’ll turn the next movie on for you though.”

She smiled at him in thanks and he headed to Peter’s room and shut the door, as  _ The Temple of Doom _ began playing on the television. She glanced down at Peter and saw how relaxed and peaceful he looked in his sleep. Even though he wasn’t happy about it, she was glad that she made him stay in that night. He didn’t seem to know his own limits.

She wasn’t sure how much of  _ Indiana Jones _ she got through before she felt herself drift off with one hand in Peter’s hair and the other resting on his chest.

* * *

Michelle was pulled from her sleep when she felt her body jerk as warmth and weight left her lap. She opened her eyes and quickly glanced around to gather herself.

“Peter?” He was on his knees beside the end of the couch. His eyes were wide and he was looking around frantically as his chest jerked with his rapid breathing. She lowered herself to the ground next to him.

“Hey, Peter.” She called to him soothingly. He made eye contact with her and she could see him struggling to control his breathing, sending him into a deeper panic as he looked down at his hands as if they should be helping him.

“I can’t breathe.” He rushed out the statement and it sounded so juvenile coming from the face of the sweet boy that she had grown so fond of.

“Okay. Peter, look at me.” She grabbed his upper arms. He looked in her eyes. “Listen to me, okay? Can you hear me?” he nodded once and she continued.

“You’re okay, Peter. Look around. Where are we?”

“My living room.”

“Good. What do you hear?” 

“Traffic” The television had long since turned itself off due to the lack of use.

“Okay, Can you take a deep breath with me?” She exaggerated the inhale and exhale of her chest as Peter matched her breathing.

When he was calm enough to breathe without assistance, he launched himself at Michelle and buried his face into her neck as he wrapped his superhuman arms almost too tightly around her.

“What happened?” She whispered. The soft and sweet sound in her voice was foreign to her own ears. She glanced at the clock, it was exactly 3:39 am.

She rubbed his back, trying to soothe him. “I just had a bad dream”

“Peter, that can’t be all it is.” 

“I get them sometimes, I’m okay.” He said.

Michelle tried to pull back to look at Peter’s face but he just tightened his grip and stuttered out “Just-I-can we stay like this a little bit longer?”

She nodded against him but didn’t drop the subject. “Talk to me, Pete. This isn’t like you.”

Peter had always been relatively open about his feelings. He followed in the example of his uncle. Seeing how open he always was with his Aunt May and always showed Peter that it was okay to not always be the strong one in a relationship. 

After a few more minutes Peter spoke again. “Every time I have a nightmare, my senses are all over the place and it’s all too loud and everything is too bright, even in the dark, and I can’t focus on anything but how panicked I feel.”

He continued. “I’ve been staying up too late. I’m exhausted and I can’t focus.”

Peter had told Michelle about his “Peter Tingle” before. She also knew that sometimes this led to sensory overloads that were extremely frustrating and even painful for Peter at times.

Michelle pulled back to look at him and this time he let her. “You need more time to relax, Peter.” She started strictly. “You might be superhuman, but you still need to care for yourself. Your body might regenerate health, but your brain doesn’t.”

“There is so much to do. I can’t just sit here when I could be helping people.”

“You already do so much, Peter.” She put her hand on his face. “You’re going to destroy yourself.”

“I need to protect people. I need to do more.”

“Peter, you know that isn’t what Stark meant.”

She saw him flinch at his mention. “This isn’t about him. He trusted  _ me _ to protect people.” Peter whispered.

“Yes, he did, very much. But he also cared for you. He wouldn’t want you to kill yourself over all of this.”

“Michelle, you didn’t  _ know _ him.” Peter looked down at the floor and shook his head.

“Stop. Peter, look at me.” She commanded, he obeyed. “You’re right, I didn’t know him. But I know how much you cared for him and with how much time you spend with Mrs. Stark and Morgan, I think that they see you as family. Hell, you told me the other day that Morgan called you her older brother.”

“I just miss him so much. I wish I could ask him what to do.” Peter choked out. “It’s supposed to get better with time, and it isn’t. And with all the nightmares, I can’t-”

He cut himself off with a choked sound and she could see his eyes beginning to tear up and it reminded her of the look on his face after his fight with Mysterio.

“What are the nightmares about?”

“They change but it’s mostly just different situations where May, or Ned, Tony,  _ you  _ are in danger and I can never save you guys.” Michelle could hear the tightness in his throat. 

“And I know that it isn’t real but Beck with the -he had- he would show me these things and they would look and feel so real. I-I feel like I can’t even tell what reality is anymore.”

“It’s okay that you’re turned around right now. It really hasn’t been that long since everything happened. I know it’s not the same but I’m still confused sometimes when I see my brother walking around.” Before The Blip, her brother had been in fourth grade. Now, he goes to the same school as her. It was an adjustment, to say the least.

Peter took a deep breath before locking teary eyes on her. “MJ, I just want to help people.”

“Peter, you help people every single day of your life. But Ned and I-” She took a breath “I’ve been worried about you- a lot.”

Peter gawked at her and questioned with a shaky voice. “What do you mean?” This time it was Peter who took her hands. Michelle hated that. Not because he was touching her but because she was the one who was supposed to be comforting him.

“I’m worried that if you keep pushing yourself and are too concerned with helping others to take care of yourself, you’re not going to be around to help anyone much longer.” 

“Michelle, I’m so so sorry. I don’t want you to-” Tears were slowly dripping out of his eyes and down his face.

Michelle cut him off with the rapid shaking of her head. “Stop, Peter, please don’t apologize.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you” He pleaded with her as if he was about to be punished for being upset.

“I want you to talk to me, you idiot. I’m glad you are right now. Okay? Don’t feel bad about telling me what is bothering you.”

“I wish he could have gotten to know you. I love you, MJ.” Peter's shoulders were still shaking with his tears. Michelle's eyes widened. She wasn’t necessarily surprised by the confession but rather the situation in which it occurred. Something about Peter being so open and vulnerable around her was frightening. 

“I wish I could have gotten to know him too, more than anything. If Morgan is anything like he was, then I think we might have gotten along...occasionally.”

Peter gave a watery chuckle and Michelle continued.

“I know that it doesn’t mean much coming from me but I think that Stark would incredibly proud of you already, everyone else is. You don’t have to deal with all of this by yourself. It wouldn’t do any harm to talk to someone that could help.”

Peter gave Michelle a small smile. “I think I’ll talk to May tomorrow… About getting help.”

Michelle smiled back at him and reached her hand up to stroke his cheekbone with her thumb before kissing him softly. Peter moved closer to her and reached a hand behind her neck for more leverage, only pulling away when neither of them could go any longer without a breath. 

Peter glanced at the clock and his eyes widened. “MJ, didn’t you need to get home?”

Michelle shrugged. “If I haven’t gotten any texts or frantic phone calls by this point, I think my parents are assuming I’m staying here.” Her parents had never been very attentive. Not neglectful, just unobservant- the very opposite of herself.

“Okay, well I should probably try to get some sleep.”

Peter stood up awkwardly and wiped at his face before walking to his bedroom door and pausing and fiddling with his shirt.

“Um MJ, do you wanna- I mean would you?” He gave up on words and gestured to his bedroom door.

“Do I want to share the bottom bunk with you while Dork #2 sleeps on the top bunk?” Michelle asked deadpan and Peter gave her a sheepish smile before she continued “Oddly enough, I really do.”

Michelle followed Peter into his bedroom and crawled into the bottom bunk so that she could be closest to the wall. Peter followed after her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

He gave a kiss to her ear before he spoke quietly as to not wake Ned up. “Michelle, about what I said earlier-”

Michelle turned in his arms. “I love you too, Parker.” She could see him smile in the dark before he buried his face in her neck.

It wasn’t until Peter’s breaths began to even that she felt herself drifting off in the pleasant warmth that surrounded her. She was glad that Peter had opened up and wanted nothing more in the world than to keep him safe and happy in any way that she could

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to send me prompts then I'm basically open to anything also leave some good recs.


End file.
